Whitney and her husband Monty are high school sweethearts with an extraordinary story of love, betrayal, and redemption. Married for 25 years, their relationship was tested in ways most couples could never imagine. In a recent episode of the One by One podcast with hosts Nick and Austin, Whitney courageously shared her perspective on the devastating betrayal she experienced when she discovered her husband's hidden addictions, which had escalated to prostitution and eventually an emotional affair.

What makes Whitney's story remarkable isn't just that she stayed in her marriage after such severe betrayal, but how she found spiritual strength during what she describes as "the hardest experience of my life." Through her darkest moments, Whitney discovered a connection with the Savior that transformed not only her marriage but her spiritual understanding of love, forgiveness, and personal growth.

Her journey offers hope for anyone facing seemingly insurmountable relationship challenges. Whitney's experience demonstrates that through faith, commitment, and divine help, even the most broken relationships can be rebuilt into something entirely new and beautiful.

Seeing Through the Savior's Eyes

When Whitney discovered her husband's double life, she experienced something unexpected. Rather than being consumed by anger, she had moments where she could see Monty through what she describes as the Savior's eyes. This wasn't her natural reaction, nor something she could have chosen on her own. Instead, she describes it as a divine gift that allowed her to see beyond her husband's actions to his true potential.

One particularly significant moment came when Monty confessed about visiting prostitutes, something that had been occurring for years. While this revelation would understandably trigger rage and devastation in most people, Whitney heard what she describes as an audible voice in her mind saying, "This is what you've been praying for." She explains that this voice helped her realize that Monty's confession, though painful, represented the beginning of healing and answered prayers for his spiritual awakening.

This ability to see her husband through spiritual eyes didn't mean Whitney didn't experience pain. She describes the following months as a battle that lasted four to six months, filled with incredible hardship. But these moments of divine perspective gave her glimpses of hope that sustained her through the darkest times. She realized that the Savior was showing her not who Monty was at his worst, but who he could become if he embraced healing and change.

Breaking Through Self-Pity to Find Strength

One of the most insightful aspects of Whitney's journey was her realization about self-pity. Despite having every reason to feel victimized, Whitney came to understand that self-pity was actually a form of pride that was hindering her healing. This wasn't something someone taught her; she describes it as another spiritual revelation that changed her perspective.

Whitney admits there were many times when she asked, "Why would the Savior let this happen to me if He loved me?" She experienced periods where she couldn't feel divine love at all, which was new territory for someone who had always felt spiritually connected. During these moments, she had to rely on her gift of faith and previous spiritual experiences to carry her through. She would sometimes simply kneel and say, "Heavenly Father, I need you," because those were the only words she could find.

This journey taught Whitney that spiritual growth sometimes requires reaching the depths of pain. She explains that she thought she knew Jesus Christ before this experience, but she needed to go through something traumatic to truly develop an intimate relationship with Him where she desperately needed the Savior. This perspective transformed her understanding of trials, helping her see that our greatest challenges may be precisely what we need to develop the deepest spiritual connections.

Building a New Marriage From the Ashes

Whitney makes a profound point when she says she and Monty didn't repair their broken marriage—they burned it to the ground and built something entirely new. This perspective shifts how we might think about relationship recovery after severe betrayal. Rather than trying to fix what was broken, they created a fresh foundation.

The symbolism of this new beginning manifested in unexpected ways. Whitney shares a story about her wedding ring that perfectly captures their journey. Around the time the affair began, they had redesigned her original wedding ring for their 25th anniversary. Shortly afterward, one of the diamonds fell out, and the ring was lost for nearly a year. When Monty later found the ring in an old jacket pocket, he surprised Whitney by replacing the missing diamond with their birthstone—symbolizing that this wasn't the same marriage, but something new.

This rebuilding process wasn't linear or easy. Whitney describes how the Savior was present in every hour of their journey, with divine timing evident throughout. When she was ready to give up, Monty would have a moment of strength and clarity. When he was weak, she would find unexpected courage. This pattern of taking turns being strong for each other, with what she describes as the Savior's help, allowed them to keep moving forward even when the path seemed impossible.

Overcoming Cultural Expectations and Judgment

Whitney faced an additional challenge beyond the betrayal itself: concern about judgment from others. In Mormon culture, she explains, there's sometimes an expectation that women should leave after any infidelity, with some walking away even after a single instance of pornography use. Whitney had to wrestle with how others would perceive her decision to stay, especially given that she describes herself as a strong, independent woman.

This perception was complicated by the fact that Whitney had built a successful career in network marketing, creating what she describes as a dream life with financial freedom, exciting trips, and time together. From the outside, they appeared to have the perfect marriage, making Monty's betrayal seem even more inexplicable to others. She worried people would wonder what she had done wrong or how she wasn't "enough" for her husband.

What Whitney came to understand was that none of these external factors were truly relevant to their situation. Her husband's actions stemmed from unaddressed wounds and emotional needs that had nothing to do with her worth or value. This realization helped free her from caring about others' judgments and allowed her to focus on what she knew to be true—that with the Savior's help, they could build something new and beautiful from their pain.

Lessons From the Depths of Hell

Whitney's journey through betrayal taught her invaluable lessons that she now shares with others who may be facing similar challenges. These insights have transformed her understanding of marriage, spirituality, and personal growth:

●       Pain has purpose: Whitney believes her suffering allowed her to develop a deeper relationship with the Savior than would have been possible otherwise.

●       Self-pity blocks healing: Recognizing self-pity as a form of pride helped Whitney move beyond victimhood toward healing.

●       Marriage requires sacrifice: Whitney describes marriage as sometimes requiring "going down to the depths of hell" to bring back someone you love.

●       Strength comes in turns: In their darkest moments, Whitney and Monty alternated being strong for each other when the other was weak.

●       Spiritual gifts emerge in trials: Whitney's gift of faith carried her through when she couldn't feel the Savior's love directly.

●       True repentance is a process: For those with addictions, change may come gradually with setbacks along the way.

●       New beginnings replace repairs: Sometimes relationships need to be rebuilt entirely rather than merely repaired.

Hope for the Seemingly Impossible

Whitney's story isn't just about surviving betrayal—it's about finding purpose in pain and creating something beautiful from ashes. Her journey demonstrates that no matter how dark things seem, healing is possible with faith and divine help. For those facing their own relationship trials, Whitney offers hope that the Savior still performs miracles and that no one is too far gone.

If you're currently walking through your own valley of betrayal or relationship crisis, Whitney's experience encourages you to look beyond the immediate pain to the potential growth on the other side. Rather than asking "why is this happening to me," consider what you might learn through this challenge that couldn't be learned any other way.

The most important takeaway from Whitney's story may be that love is worth fighting for, even when that fight takes you to places you never imagined going. By relying on spiritual strength, seeing your partner through compassionate eyes, and being willing to create something entirely new, you may discover that your greatest trial becomes the foundation for your greatest blessing.

Remember Whitney's powerful insight: "The Lord makes beauty from ashes even when you're the one that started the fire." In marriage, as she explains, it doesn't matter who started the fire—what matters is that both partners are willing to build something new and beautiful from what remains.

Begin your healing journey today—the darkest moments in your relationship may become the foundation for your greatest spiritual transformation and deepest connection.